Today is the day: Blogville Date Day! We may all be small in scale but the Crabby Girls Beachnut, Shelldon and Oceana and I have planned one grandiose day.
Come hungry for the ristorante italiano, grab your rodeo hat and get ready to hula. We are off!
First, I have to say, my girls look beautiful. Shelldon and Beachnut were concerned they couldn’t keep up with Oceana’s style and glamor but to me they are equally lovely. Thanks for the effort, ladies. It is duly noted. Now on to our day . . .
In celebration of our heritages, the Crabby Girls and I have planned a day to get to know each other better. If I’m going to date three girls, it’s of the utmost importance that they know
how much I eat where I’m from. I am a big connoisseur of culture and the food linked to that culture so I am excited to share my background with them and experience the Crabby Girls’ place of origin (and taste their authentic samplings!).
Since the big guy (my so-called Daddy that still inspires my ear-piercing squeal) is from Italy, I’ve absorbed a bit of the Italian heritage. I’ve also inherited a farm pig’s appetite for Italian food. So I’m starting out by taking my girls to a little Italian bistro. I figure I better have a full tummy so I can devote some time to them and not start sniffing them to see if they might be appetizing (squee, did I just say that out loud?!).
This pizza ought to fill me up. The girls are so polite, picking away at their piece and thinking to leave some extras for me. I couldn’t ask for more considerate dates.
Now that the girls’ appetites are fully sated (will mine ever be?), I can show them another piece of my piggy history: Texas, my birthplace. What better way to impress them than taking them to a rodeo?
I picked out some classic hats that they can take home and remember me by . . .
and even gave the whole rodeo thing a try. Quite a feat for a slipping and sliding mini pig.
At this point, I hope they are impressed and falling helplessly in love with me. I’m really enjoying googly eyes from three crabby girls. I even let a big bull push me around to seal the deal that I would go the distance for these three. (They didn’t know I made a deal with the bull that I would give him stomach-expanding tips afterwards).
Finally we watched some more action and I got to stretch out beside my girls. I was thinking of putting my arm around one of them but didn’t want to seem too eager or selective. I’ll give it a try later.
After all of those activities, it’s time to wind things down in paradise. The Crabby Girls are from Hawaii and they told me to come ready to wag my white mini pig tail and shake my strong hips. We’re doing something called the Hula at a typical Hawaiian luau. They even thought to bring me a souvenir: a Hawaiian lei. Since it didn’t smell like something to eat, I went ahead and put it on my head.
I’ve been warned about luaus. Remember how Mamma told me I was a lucky mini pig to be at the campfire, not on the campfire? Well apparently it’s a tradition to put pigs on the campfire at luaus. The Crabby Girls are very protective of me (I’m winning them over, I can tell) and they tell me to avert me eyes and keep my two eyes on their six eyes. Then they drag me off to do something called the Limbo.
I quite enjoyed myself and was surprisingly good for a mini pig. I bet the girls didn’t realize how agile I am. The only problem at this point was that my appetite was starting to get the best of me. I couldn’t resist; I sniffed the girls. I almost gave them a little lick but they might interpret that as too pushy so I resisted. Thankfully, they must have noticed I was getting a little hungry and restless so they led me away from the Limbo bar.
And here was the best part of the date in my opinion: letting them woo me with a very large plate of Hawaiian delicacies. I did my best to leave some for them but I fear I scrounged it down too quickly to check on them. I do hope they forgive me; I worked up an appetite while doing the Limbo and my mini pig belly grunted for food.
The feast was fabulous. It was just what I needed to keep my tongue from almost licking the girls again. Back to good mini pig behavior (if mini pigs ever behave well).
The date is winding down. I can’t believe how wistful I feel thinking of my three girls. I think I have to go for it. I’ll be gentle, I can do it. They will know I only mean a harmless kiss; I’d never really try to taste them. They know that, right? I have to try.
I did it! They seemed surprised but I did give them all a little kiss. I was a little shy and unsure of how to kiss a crabby girl so I just kissed each girl’s shell. I hope that seemed right. I wonder if they will give me a chance to learn the proper way to kiss a crabby girl.
I was so fixated on our intimate moment that by the time we left Hawaii to return home I completely forgot to chat up my pig relative on the campfire. Next time I suppose. I do need to understand what being on the campfire means.
I can’t wait to follow up with my girls and make sure they enjoyed the date as much as I did. I hope they don’t hold my bad mini pig belly-instigating behavior against me. I hope they will go on a date with me again. This was a wonderful day and I’m ready to get a good night’s sleep and dream of
our meals my girls. I am one lucky mini pig and I can’t wait to ask them out again. Thank you, Shelldon, Beachnut and Oceana.
Make sure you check out the Crabby Girls’ version of our date. You can bet I will. I also can’t wait to hear all about my friends’ dates!
Squeals of love and laughter and grunts of satisfaction,
~ Coccolino the mini pig stud